what i wanted to say
by starbuckslove-33
Summary: Casey and Derek are best friends, but Casey has falls for him. Maybe he feels the same? Or has she lost her chance at love and completely lost her best friend? Dasey
1. Just Friends?

Casey McDonald was in her room staring up at the ceiling. She could not help but think of her best friend. Derek Venturi he was her next door neighbor. They have been close for the past couple years, but for this past year she had realized that she was in love with him. Every day she had tried to get up the courage to tell him but could not risk losing their friendship besides he did not really believe in love anyway. He was kind of the player at our school. He had a bad reputation for breaking girls' hearts. He said he knows he` ll never have to worry bout that with me because I was way to smart for that. But what do you know he was wrong because here I am consumed in thoughts of him.

"Casey! Derek is here", said Casey` s mom.

"Alright", Casey says.

She sits up grabs a book and pretends to be interested into something.

"Hey Case guess what!" Derek says excited.

"What is it Der?" says Casey.

"I think I might be falling for this girl." Said Derek happily

"What?" Casey says shocked.

"Yeah Case I mean she` s great" Derek said smiling

"That` s great Derek I'm really happy for you. _Even though I` m dying inside_.

"Thanks Case. I'm going to tell her soon. Well I'm tired. See you tomorrow princess" He winks and he left.

_Ugh why can` t he like me._ She walked over and shut her door. She went and grabbed he iPod and turned it to a song and turned her speakers up. _**"he`s like the star of the movie he just does something to me, can` t explain, can` t contain it. I don` t know what it is, something about him."**__Ughhh, why does every song remind me of him?_ She clicked the next button on her remote and she changes the song and starts dancing and singing. She never realized Derek was sitting there looking out his window watching her smiling.

The next day Casey went outside and met Derek for her ride to school. "Hey Case", says Derek. "Morning Der.", she said. She plugged her iPod in and started listening to Derek` s playlist she made. It was composed of all the songs that made her think of him. She was trying to ignore the fact that Derek wanted to talk bout was that stupid new girl he talked bout yesterday.

"Casey…. Are you okay?" Derek said sincerely worried.

"Hmmm, yes look I know you like this girl. I like this guy too." Casey said annoyed

"Really? Who?" Derek said

"Well it`s a secret I'm thinking of telling him in a song at the talent show." Casey said

"That`s a great idea I should of though of telling Amy like her in a song." Derek said

"Wait the girl you` re so crazy about it`s it` s it`s Amy?" Casey said hurt

"Yeah is` t she great?" Derek said happily

"Yeah she`s great. You Guys will be perfect together." Casey lied.

They arrived at the school and Casey just got out the car and just started walking straight to her locker. The talent show was 3 weeks away and she felt like just giving up. _Maybe I should just give up. I don't even have a song for this talent show. What does he even see in her? She knows nothing about him. What does she have that I don` t? I could show him what love is. If only he gave me a shot._

"Hey Case!" Emily said excitedly.

"So have you found a song for the show yet?" she said.

"No Emily I have` t. You know he`s in love with another girl anyway I think I should just give up on this whole love thing" Casey cried

"Don` t do that. Maybe things will change."She said hopeful

"Well I doubt that but for now I'm going to class Emily. See ya later" and with that Casey left.


	2. Hopeless?

Casey McDonald was in her room staring up at the ceiling. She could not help but think of her best friend. Derek Venturi he was her next door neighbor. They have been close for the past couple years, but for this past year she had realized that she was in love with him. Every day she had tried to get up the courage to tell him but could not risk losing their friendship besides he did not really believe in love anyway. He was kind of the player at our school. He had a bad reputation for breaking girls' hearts. He said he knows he` ll never have to worry bout that with me because I was way to smart for that. But what do you know he was wrong because here I am consumed in thoughts of him. "Casey! Derek is here", said Casey` s mom. "Alright", Casey says. She sits up grabs a book and pretends to be interested into something. "Hey Case guess what!" Derek says excited. "What is it Der?" says Casey. "I think I might be falling for this girl." "What?" "Yeah Case I mean she` s great" "That` s great Derek I'm really happy for you. _Even though I` m dying inside_. "Thanks Case. I'm going to tell her soon. Well I'm tired. See you tomorrow princess" He winks and he left. _Ugh why can` t he like me._ She walked over and shut her door. She went and grabbed he iPod and turned it to a song and turned her speakers up. _**"he` s like the star of the movie he just does something to me,, can` t explain, can` t contain it. I don` t know what it is, something about him."**__ Ughhh, why does every song remind me of him?_ She clicked the next button on her remote and she changes the song and starts dancing and singing. She never realized Derek was sitting there looking out his window watching her smiling.

The next day Casey went outside and met Derek for her ride to school. "Hey Case", says Derek. "Morning Der.", she said. She plugged her iPod in and started listening to Derek` s playlist she made. It was composed of all the songs that made her think of him. She was trying to ignore the fact that Derek wanted to talk bout was that stupid new girl he talked bout yesterday.

"Casey…. Are you okay?" Derek said sincerely worried.

"Hmmm, yes look I know you like this girl. I like this guy too." Casey said annoyed

"Really? Who?" Derek said

"Well it` s a secret I'm thinking of telling him in a song at the talent show." Casey said

"That` s a great idea I should of though of telling Amy like her in a song." Derek said

"Wait the girl you` re so crazy about that` s that` s it` s Amy?" Casey said hurt

"Yeah is` t she great?" Derek said happily

"Yeah she` s great. You Guys will be perfect together." Casey lied.

They arrived at the school and Casey just got out the car and just started walking straight to her locker. The talent show was 3 weeks away and she felt like just giving up. _Maybe I should just give up. I don't even have a song for this talent show. What does he even see in her? She knows nothing about him. What does she have that I don` t? I could show him what love is. If only he gave me a shot._

"Hey Case!" Emily said excitedly.

"So have you found a song for the show yet?" she said.

"No Emily I have` t. You know he` s in love with another girl anyway I think I should just give up on this whole love thing" Casey cried

"Don` t do that. Maybe things will change." She said hopeful

"Well I doubt that but for now I'm going to class Emily. See ya later" and with that Casey left

So Casey went off to her English class with her "best friend"

_Oh great he` s flirting with her now too. _She sighed hopelessly at Derek` s little display. He was sitting the next row over from her flirting secretly with Amy while the teacher had her back turned. Amy was really pretty. She had big green eyes. She was co- captain of the girls soccer team. She also had strawberry blonde hair that was cut short and framed her face just right. She was pretty popular with the girls and guys. She had an all around great personality and she was a great student to the teachers. They sat there passing notes while the teacher wasn` t looking. Casey was doodling in her notebook drifting off into space while the teacher blabbed off into some lecture that she had finished 2 weeks ago. She tried to figure out what song would be good for the show. She doubted it really mattered anymore. She knew that if she had won she would have to do another song in the end. She sat there trying to figure out what to do. The bell rung and Casey hurried up and ran off before Derek could talk to her. She continued to ignore him for the rest of the day. She went to find Derek to get her ride home. She found him talking to Amy, them holding each other hands. "Hey Case, I have` t seen you all day." Derek said. "I` m surprised you even noticed.", Casey mumbled. "Yeah sorry I` ve been busy today." Casey made said with an apologetic face. "It` s cool… Is it okay of Amy rides with us I promised my girl friend a ride." Derek smiled at Amy. _They` r together now? Ughhh now I will never have a shot with him!_ "You guys are together that` s great I` m so happy for you guys." "Thanks, I'm so lucky to go out with the Derek Venturi.", Amy said. "Well I just came here to tell you Emily was going to give me a ride home today", Casey lied. "Oh, alright see ya then Casey" They got into the car and left. Casey sighed. She knew Emily had already left and she didn't` t want to call her and tell her to turn around so she started to put all her stuff in her backpack and took out her iPod and started walking. _**"S**__**ee like**__** j**__**ust because this cold, cruel world say we can't be, Baby we both have the right to disagree, And I ain't with it, And I don't wanna be so old and gray, Reminiscing 'bout these better days, But convince just telling us to let go, So we'll never know.", Casey said singing. **_She finally arrived home. She looked across the street to find that Derek was` t home yet. She sighed and went into her house and ran upstairs to her room. She locked the door and opened the window. She tried to calm down and turn on her iPod and just broke down crying on the floor. She realized that she just had to give up. Derek was obviously happy and she wasn't going to be the one to mess that up for him. She smiled at the thought of him being happy even if it wasn` t her. She got up to write in her journal.

Dear Journal,

Well Derek told me he loved a girl today. It wasn` t me. Big shocker there right? I know it is not anything new. I think I always knew he wouldn't feel anything more for me. I just wish that when I finally was ready to settle down it would have been with me. I thought that when he would say his first I love you it would be with me. I know it was wishful thinking. You have no idea how bad it hurts to love someone and no idea how bad it hurts to love your bestriend and they not love you back and then you have to sit there and listen to them talk bout somebody else and how they care for them. And all I can sit here and do is watch their little love story unfold . Life sucks! And he` ll never know that everyday I sit here and watch in my tears that can drowned out the world. :X Kill me now?

-Invisible /3

She sighs and closes the book and places it back on the shelf. She goes into her sisters' room trying to cheer up.

"Hey Liz", says Casey

"Hey Case can you take me to practice? Mom said she has a ton of work to do and doesn't have time." Lizzie says with puppy dog eyes.

"Sure Liz." Said Casey

She went downstairs and grabbed her keys and they drive off to Lizzie` s soccer practice.

They got to her game and she went on the bench and watched her sister play. She tried to drown out all thoughts off her best friend till… zzzzzzzzzz! Her phone went off. She looked at the message and sighed, it was Derek.

_**Hello darling(: -Derek **_

_Hey Derek.-Casey_

_**You won't believe how my day is going! -Derek**_

_Hmmm, awesome? -Casey_

_**DUH, I'm with the girl of my dreams Case! ((: -Derek**_

_I know I am happy for you. -Casey_

_**Casey is something wrong? -Derek**_

_No, I` m fine. -Casey_

_**Are you sure you seem distant. Should I come over? -Derek**_

_No, I am out with my sister watching her practice._** -Casey**

**Oh I can come when you get back?**_** -Derek**_

_**Yes, if you want. You can tell me all bout her.- Casey**_

_**Well… I don` t know much but Case we have this connection!-Derek**_

_Already? -Casey_

_**Yes… I` ve been talking to her for months and she` s amazing and beautiful. I think it might be love. Sigh* **_

_Oh well… I` m so glad you found 3- Casey_

_**I did Casey. I did. I hope you find it someday too. -Derek**_

_I already have… -Casey_

_**You have? Oh right... you mean that guy you` re gona sing for? How` s that going btw? -Derek**_

_Eh, I don` t think I have a shot with him. - Casey_

_**Why would you say that Casey? -Derek**_

_Bc he is with someone else. He doesn't even know I exist. I` m so in love with him. _

_**How do you knw he doesn't notice u? -Derek**_

_Bc his eyes shine bright when he sees her& i` ve never seen him so happy until he met her. Trust me I knw he doesn't 3 me. -Casey_

_**Awww Case I` m sorry here I am happy and I` m not paying attention to my best friend. -Derek**_

_No, it ` s cool. I shouldn't be bothering u w/ all this. I g2g. Dnt cum over 2nite I'll c u 2mro. Later _

She sighed and closed her phone. She decided to stop and grab them sandwiches on the way home and get her sister some ice cream. She went home ate and went to sleep.


	3. what i wanted to say

The next 2 weeks were a blur. They went bye long and she tried her hardest to avoid Derek for all he seemed to want to talk about was that girl. She was tired. Most days he when they did hang out he didn't seem there anyway and she was tired of being around where she wasn't wanted. She hated being the 3rd wheel. She had the talent show in a couple days and it bugged her to know that she didn't have his heart but now she might not have his friendship either. They had been friends for what felt like ever and now that might be a memory too. Zzzzzz

Casey?... -Derek

Case, I told her I loved her tonight. She said she loves me too. (: -Derek

_I have stared at this phone for what seemed like hours. I guess I knew it would happen sometime. I have lost my best friend. Nothing seemed right these days anyway though. The talent show is tomorrow night. I never thought love could hurt so much. _

The next day….

"Hey Casey", Emily said trying to catch her breath. Casey stopped ad waited for her best friend. You ready for the show tonight?" Emily asked. "Yes and no", Casey said and laughed. "It will be okay. I'll ne there watching you and cheering you on." Emily said. "Thanks said Casey." Zzzzz, zzzzzzzzzzzz, zzzzzzz, her phone was ringing.

"Hello?"

"Hey Casey it` s me. I just wanted to let you know we are coming to the show."

_Oh joy the both of you there_

"That` s great I hope you guys have fun at the show" said Casey said.

_You will probably hate me even more when you find out the songs bout you_

"I have to go get ready for the show see yall soon. Bye" said Casey trying to rush him off the phone.

"Bye Case"

She slammed her phone shut as a tear slipped down her cheek.

"Aww Case it will be okay", Emily said trying to reassure her.

"Thanks Em", Casey half smiled.

Later on that night the show started. Casey was the last one up. She decided to curl her hair and put on a blue butterfly clip. She did her make- up really nice and even put on a cute strapless dress that came 2 inches before her knees and she wore black ballet flats.

Next up Casey McDonald. She walked up to the mike. _Here it goes_.

"Tonight I will sing a song called wishes by Superchick"

"I picked this song because I thought it related to how I felt pretty well."

She looked over at Derek with his arm wrapped round Amy.

"I should have said something to you, but I was afraid. I just don't wana lose you, but maybe… I already have?" "This is for you Derek"

_I felt a tear go down my cheek as I began to sing the song_

I should've done something  
Again I did nothing  
Watched us separate  
What should I do now  
Run and chase you down?  
I can't hesitate 

'Cause all I wanted to say was something real  
All I want you to know is how I feel  
All I wanted to give was my heart  
But I'm stuck here at the start

It's on the tip of my tongue but I'm still afraid  
Sometimes the only things words do is get in the way  
Sometimes the easiest things are the hardest to say  
But I don't want to lose you, drive you away  
Don't want to confuse you, I need you to stay  
Only wish you knew what I wanted to say  
Only wish you knew what I wanted to say

My hands are shaking  
I'm yours for the taking  
Don't you hesitate  
Please just do one thing  
One small sign, something  
Let's jump off the edge

'Cause all I want you to say is something real  
All I wanted to know is how you feel  
All I want you to give is your heart  
But we're stuck here at the start

It's on the tip of my tongue but I'm still afraid  
Sometimes the only things words do is get in the way  
Sometimes the easiest things are the hardest to say  
But I don't want to lose you, drive you away  
Don't want to confuse you, I need you to stay  
Only wish you knew what I wanted to say  
Only wish you knew what I wanted to say

It's on the tip of my tongue but I'm still afraid  
Sometimes the only things words do is get in the way  
Sometimes the easiest things are the hardest to say  
But I don't want to lose you

I don't wanna lose you  
No I dont wanna lose you  
No I dont wanna lose you

I should've done something, I should've done something  
I should've done something but I never wanted to  
I should've done something, I should've done something  
I should've done something but I never wanted to  
(I don't want to lose you, drive you away)  
I don't wanna lose you  
(I only wish you knew what I wanted to say)  
No I dont wanna lose you  
(What I wanted to say)

I should've done something, I should've done something  
I should've done something but I never wanted to  
I should've done something, I should've done something  
I should've done something but I never wanted to 

_I stopped singing and the crowed cheered. I looked over at Derek and he smiled at me. Maybe now he got what I had been dying to say. I finally smiled for the first time in weeks. _

She grabbed her gutair and walked to the back of the stage. She ended up winning that night. She drove home with a little smile on her face. She got home and went upstairs to her room. She laid down on her bed and fell fast asleep.

"Caseyyyyyyyy" someone said in her ear.

"Caseyyyyyy wake up" they wined

"No! Casey is not her right now leave a message and she` ll get back to you later"

"Okay but I hope you know Derek is very mad that his girlfriend wont wake up for him."

"Ughhh so go call her then" She mumbled

"Why would I call her when she` s right here" Derek said with a wide grin

"You did not bring that girl into my house!" Casey yelled finally out of her sleep

She looked up at him only to see he` s alone.

"Wait… Are you talking about me?" Casey questioned

"Casey I broke up with Amy last night. I never really loved her I just needed to be with someone to get my mind off of you." Derek honestly said

"Why would you need to get me off your mind?" Casey said confused

_Does he feel the way I feel?_

Derek sat next to her on the bed. "Casey I love you. I was just to afraid to admit it."

"Please tell me you will be my girlfriend?"

"Hmm, I have to think about it" said Casey jokingly

"wh.." he didn't get to finish because she leaned down and kissed him

She pulled away.

"I love you Case"

"I love you too Der"

And she kissed him again

**Review pleeeeeease? (:**


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